But I don’t like confrontation…

Listen here:  

Do you say this to yourself? How often? Do you say it when an employee is not doing what you need or want?

What is your reaction – do you to let it be, do you become passive-aggressive, or do you let it eat at you slowly. Let’s face it, confrontation isn’t fun, is not something people look forward to or seek out. Why? Because most expect it to get ugly, yelling, throwing or something extreme. Maybe you avoid confrontation because of something much more subtle – you avoid it because you want to be liked, you want harmony and you enjoy peace.

Want a new way to look at this? Confrontation does not have to be a nasty experience nor does it have to make people dislike you.  Confrontation or conflict, just means you need to address someone who has a different point of view than yours.  Think about this for a moment…how many times a day do you meet someone who thinks exactly like you or who you don’t have to explain what and why you think a certain way. Not often, I would say. How often do you meet people who don’t think like you or who you have to explain your thought process? My guess – often, especially if you are in sales (not too many 5 minute closes out there).  Do you shy away from these people or do you calmly explain your point of view and hope they understand.

So therefore, why should employees be any different? In fact I would say it is even more important.  Are you wiggling in your chair? Getting that uncomfortable feeling?  That’s ok, lets look at why this is important.

What happens if you don’t deal with a problematic employee?

• The other employees will loose respect for you
• Their problems or attitude will infect people around them
• Their problems or attitude will be seen/heard by your customers
• They won’t get better on their own, because you will make this behavior acceptable

What happens if you do talk to an employee?

• Other employees will respect you
• Others now know to behave or quit complaining
• Better attitude around the office/plant
• Happier customers!
• Repeat customers!
• Customer’s signing your praises!

Are you convinced you need to do this? Good, lets review the how so you can be comfortable and at ease with the process. Remember you want to treat this as a conversation about expectations (not as a confrontation), be clear in your mind what your expectations are and why they are important.

Now for the conversation:

• Start with something positive – how you appreciate them or how their position is important to the company
• Explain how you want to clarify your expectations
• Tell them what happened, it’s affect on you, the company or the client
• Include how this made them feel (i.e. The client felt that you were not concerned about their problem)
• You don’t want to accuse or attack them personally – discuss the behavior they exhibited
• Ask the employee what happened, what they were thinking, etc. – get them to talk
• Empathize but explain a better way to handle the situation
• Ask the employee if they feel comfortable with this new way
• If yes – great!
• If no – ask them for suggestions on how to improve

Before you end the conversation, make sure you have come to an agreement and don’t back down on what you believe is right. If you have let things slide in the past, they will try to convince you that this doesn’t matter or will try to intimidate you.  Don’t let this happen – it’s your business and you  know what is best.

The first couple times you have these conversations it will be awkward, uncomfortable and you will still dread it.  Give yourself time, with each discussion you will become more confident and relaxed.