When we look at our people and the work they do – we think logically. First this, then that or this team should work together or why don’t they ask. It’s all logical thinking. What we are missing is the emotion. For each person (and yourself) many subjects have some emotion tied to them. That emotion could be joy, pride, confidence, doubt, frustration, or anger – to name a few.
Yet, when we view issues or situations – we think logically. Why couldn’t they ask or why didn’t they just do it. For them there are emotions involved – fear of failure, doubt about a decision, frustration for working with certain people, etc.
Here’s the thing, and this is the advice I give all the time. You need to understand their viewpoint as a starting point. what are they experiencing, feeling, and needing. What are their emotions?
Why should we focus on emotions? Typically that’s where problems come from.
Think back to last situation you had to deal with. What emotions were involved? What was the person feeling? Why? This line of questions will also help in getting to “root cause” of the issue. Only once we are there can we begin to resolve and fix the issue once and for all.
When we start to explore the emotional side of our people, it can be awkward and uncomfortable. An easy way to take this step is to start with “why”. For example “why does this have you frustrated?” and depending on their answer you can ask “why” again. As you ask more questions to gain an understanding you will also uncover what drives a person, what’s their motivation, and what is happening in your teams – for the good and bad. Now you can start to fix the issue.
Looking for assistance in how to approach your team? Contact us.