I had the pleasure this past weekend to present to a group of entrepreneurs the topic of “Speaking THEIR Language: Understanding Clients, Vendors and Employees.” The gist of the presentation was about paying attention to “cues” other people give you in order to understand how they learn, process information, and communicate. While that was the overall reason for the session, I found myself several times repeating the phrase “it’s about them”.

Let me explain, when you are trying to communicate and make a connection with another person (regardless of their role in your life) it is about THEM. Each of us is a product of our experiences, both good and bad. You may remember the book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” by Steven Covey. My favorite habit since the first time I read the book is “Seek first to Understand then be Understood”. Which briefly is about, before people can understand you, you need to understand them.

This applies not only to personal relationship, business acquaintances but to employee’s and co-workers as well. Want your employee to be more engaged in your business? Want your employees to treat your like clients wonderfully? Want your employees to strive for the same goals as you?

Learn what is important to them, take an active interest in their lives and career, and get to know them personally. However it must be sincere and not “well, I’m doing this because I want you to be more productive” fake interest – they will know and it will backfire. When done properly – they will reciprocate and will give you the best they can be.

Not sure if this will work – take one person, any person in your organization and try it.  See what happens, notice any improvement, and always thank them for good work.

Try it and let me know – I would like to get your feedback.