Summary:  Are you a good listener? You hear what they are saying but are you listening? How to turn it around.

Are you a good listener? Most people when asked this question will say “yes” or “of course”. I hear what everyone tells me. You may indeed hear what they are saying but are you listening?

Does it sound like I’m splitting hairs?  Possibly.  Let’s look at the definition of Listening according to Merriam-Webster Dictionary:

“To hear something with thoughtful attention”

The part of the definition I like is “thoughtful attention”. This means giving the person talking to us our full attention. Lets be honest and admit that this isn’t easy for us to do. After all we have a long list of “to do” items, meetings to attend, clients and calls to make. Now when you are asked the question “Are you a good listener?” you may think twice.

How to turn it around.

Clear Your Mind.  When someone comes to you to talk, ask for a moment to clear your head. Set aside all the “noise” in your head and focus your attention on them.

No Judgments. Don’t think about what you are going to say in response or judge their thoughts/ideas. Let them get through their thought process.

Clarify. Show you were listening by summarizing or asking questions to clarify your understanding. They will appreciate the extra attention you have given to them.

What will you get in return? You will find the people around you will open up more, share more ideas and will trust you with their thoughts.