Summary:  When I speak to others about working with other people, doesn’t matter the situation – networking, clients, employees, etc., it’s about getting to know the other person and not about you or a process or procedure. Sometimes we are so eager to answer their question or tell the world what we do – we forget all that we do starts with relationships.

A reoccurring theme over the last couple of weeks have been about building relationships. It started with a talk I gave about “Accelerating the Know, Like and Trust Factor in Networking and Sales” it continued while I was coaching a Human Resources Manager about Employee Relations and ended with my own business development efforts. Once I stepped back I realized there was a common thread in my recent encounters – building relationships.

When I speak to others about working with other people, doesn’t matter the situation – networking, clients, employees, etc., it’s about getting to know the other person and not about you or a process or procedure. Sometimes we are so eager to answer their question or tell the world what we do – we forget all that we do starts with relationships.

In networking, you have to create relationships in order for people to refer you or work with you. Potential clients are more likely to work with you if they feel you are truly interested in them. Employees want more than answers they want to think you care about them.

So how can you get started? Here are some tips depending if you are meeting someone for the first time or if it someone you already know.

If you were to meet someone today, what would you do or say to get to know them better and create a “connection”?

• Listen more than speak
• Ask questions
• Try to find a common ground
• Ask how you can help them
• Don’t talk about what you do unless they ask (I know this is hard)

With people you already know (clients, employees, contacts) keep working on the relationship.

• Ask about them (small talk)
• If you about a topic they are interested in say “did you hear about….”
• Let them do the talking
• Do this before you start working, talking about business, etc.

Even with these tips, the best thing you can do to build a relationship with another person is LISTEN. When you are listening don’t be thinking about anything else except what they are saying. Don’t be thinking about a point you want to make, don’t be thinking about your to-d0’s when they are done, don’t be thinking about the call/appointment/errand etc. you have, and don’t be looking around the room.

Magic happens when you really listen and pay attention to someone. Try to remember the last time you felt someone had all their attention on you and how that felt. Create that in someone else and you will see the relationship starting to build.

Please share below what your experience is when you use these tips.