I have had the pleasure over the last couple of weeks of speaking to a couple great leaders in small business. There was a common theme running through the various conversations: The impact the leader has on the team.

This may seem obvious, as in “of course the leader has an impact”. And I would agree. However have you really thought about how your day-to-day interactions impact your team and not just the big decisions.

For example: are you the person where your teams decides if it’s a good day or bad day based on your mood? Are they afraid to ask a questions because they think you will say it’s dumb or the answer is obvious? Or are you the person when there is a lot going on, you ignore everyone on your team?

These examples are extremes however they highlight how our actions can affect others.

I remember many years ago, two servers from the restaurant came to talk to me about their “boss”, the restaurant manager and how she would always raise her voice at them. As I usually do in these situations I ask “what are you looking for today – to vent (let it out and we both forget about it), do you want me to fix it (not the best option) or you want me to guide you in handling the situation yourself (yes, this is the one I strive for)”. We discussed how they could approach the manager and let her know how they felt.  Usually when this happens, the original people come back to me and let me know what happened.  This time the manager came to see me and no, not to complain about the servers – she came looking for advice because she didn’t understand why they would say she was raising her voice and being rude.  Instead of going into the perception is reality speech, I ask her if she would be willing to try something for the day. She said yes. I asked her to “listen to yourself speak”, especially when she was interacting with her team. Many times we have a tendency to talk without thinking about how it is received by others.

Well, it didn’t take a day, she came back to me a couple hours later with “I had no idea I was so rude and disrespectful.” We then discussed how she say what she needed in a way that would show respect to others. In the end,  she found her best voice, used it, and had a profitable restaurant with great customer service.

Have you “listened to yourself” lately? How are your words, tone, or mood affecting those around you?

Understanding your impact is the beginning to becoming a leader.