How to have that first difficult conversation

You know that conversation where you have to tell an employee for the first time that either they are not performing or their attitude is not what you want.  You know that talk where you dread it either because you don’t like “confrontation” or you are fearful of their reaction.  Take a deep breath, it won’t be easy but here are some tips to make it “easier”.

• Talk from your point of view “I feel…” or “When this happens, it makes me think…” This will allow them to explain their behavior
• Explain how their behavior is affecting others
• Tell them what you need “I need for you to be more positive” or “I need you to understand…”
• Ask them if they are able and willing to change
• Don’t attack them personally, “you are a mean person” or “your co-workers don’t like you” (no good can come from this)
• Ask how you can help them get through this and improve (show you really want them to change)
• Do give a time frame for the change (this needs to happen immediately or within the next week)
• Do explain what will happen if they revert back to their old behavior (if this happens again, you will give me no choice but to start writing this up)
• Do make yourself available for advice or guidance for them they find themselves getting into their old ways

If you make the conversation about them and how their behavior is affecting you and others, this should be a start to getting them on the right track.

Keep in mind – you have told them that if they do it again what will happen.  DO NOT back down, follow through on this otherwise you can not be taken seriously and they will loose respect for you.

As always, be fair – what you do with one, you have to do with others.