What were they thinking

Taking a break this week from serious writing and how to improve – to remind you that it could always be worse.  Here are a few stories, all true and yes names have been changed. I will admit at the time they couldn’t be dismissed but dealt with and now just shake my head. Its hard to surprise me these days – the antics, the plans, and the creativity just make me shake my head. Enjoy this amusement break before returning to your regularly scheduled business. Share your stories.

He was kidnapped

After missing two weeks of work with no call, no note, no nothing an employee came to my office to tell me that the reason he wasn’t working was because he was kidnapped.  Unfortunately this story takes place in a country where it is possible. Any other place would have seen me roll me eyes or chuckle.  He walked into my office limping, talking a mile a minute and handed me police reports. Unfortunately for him, he walked out of my office with no limp and had trouble answering my questions about his well-being. The head of security was a former detective and I asked him to check out the reports. Totally fake. The reports were for a purse snatching, car jacking and a fight. Needless to say he didn’t get his job back, although if he would have applied the same creativity to his work – who knows what he could be doing now…

No speak English

This occurred many times but the most memorable was when I was two weeks into my HR career. Yes, fresh and new out of college and it showed me how much people will try to get out of trouble even when they were wrong.  I was working in a hotel and there were two housekeepers who brought a personal disagreement (ok, fight) into work by trying to sabotage each other. This was done by hiding sheets, towels, and the amenities. The two ladies were called into the HR office and had a meeting with the Director of HR. About 5 minutes into the meeting they pulled the “We don’t understand English”, which everyone knew was false. The Director came out of her office and asked me if I would do her a favor by translating. Keep in mind up to this point no one outside of HR knew I was bilingual (speak, read & write Spanish). Of course I said yes and when I went into the office I explained my purpose was only to translate and I would not be changing any words or statements made. It took a few minutes to pick up their mouths off the floor and get them thinking again. Granted this was 20 years ago, but people have to realize the odds of someone else speaking their language is great – after all this is a melting pot of a country.

I stole but want my job back

This is another hotel story, what can I say, when a business is open 24/7 the guests aren’t the only interesting attraction. This time the hotel was having issues with equipment going missing, items made from silver and crystal – chaffing dishes, flatware, wine glasses, etc. There was a big investigation involving secret cameras, undercover buyers, etc. In the end, two employees were arrested for theft and they were caught red handed. After several weeks the police dropped the charges against one of the employees since his case wasn’t as strong and would require a lot more work to prove. Ok, not a problem the mastermind was being held and would be tried. The person that was let go actually had the nerve to come back and ask for his job! Really, you already stole from us once – why would I let you do it again. Needless to say he wasn’t the brains of the operation.

These were the first stories that came to mind – after 20 years I have many, many more.  Share your stories!