Clarification – the missing element of communication

Summary:  While we are always working on our communication to ensure we are understood, many times an element that is missing is “clarification”.

I was listening to a speaker the other day and was enthralled and delighted that he was talking about communication. His focus was on communication within the family and he mentioned something that many times we all forget about when in comes to communication – clarification. This same principal applies in our business communication whether it is with clients, vendors, or employees.

As he was speaking I had realized that many times when talking to people I believe they understand what I am talking about but for some reason I don’t ask for clarification. We all may have the habit of asking for clarification when we are unsure of another person meaning but how often do we ask if we are “clear” or “what was understood” or “what are your thoughts on what I said” for the purpose of ensuring we are understood.

How many times have you had a conversation with someone, you were positive they understood, you were clear in your message – just to learn later that they understood something else? I, like you, can definitely pinpoint these moments very easily.

Why don’t we ask?

Possibly because we are unsure of how the other person will react? What they will think of us? They will believe we don’t trust them? We don’t think they are smart enough? Is that possible reaction worth the frustration, rework or resentment of misunderstandings?

How you ask will make a difference.

Don’t talk down to people, don’t ask “any questions”, or “do you understand” – none of these will get the results you desire. Instead ask/say:

• Can you please summarize our discussion.
• What are your thoughts on this?
• What is your reaction to what I have said?

Share with us you “clarification” questions/statements.