Perception is Reality

Listen here:

When I first started working I used to get so tired of hearing “Perception is Reality”, it didn’t usually come with an explanation which made it more frustrating. As the years went on – I finally got it, I mean really got it. I haven’t used this phrase in a while but the concept has never left me. It was highlighted again with how we don’t know what is happening in someone’s mind.

Working with a client and a key employee, we had a major break though when discussing the working relationship between the two. The purpose of the meeting was to review what was working and what wasn’t for both individuals. One of the biggest things that wasn’t working was when the key employee was given constructive feedback, she would appear not to care or would outright dismiss the comments.

Now, as an owner of the business you can imagine how frustrating this is.  You have spent time training this person, you have come to rely on this person and while overall things are going well – this is one of those items that “eats at you”.  Wouldn’t you agree? How many of you have experienced this?

In an effort to get the root of the problem, the attitude was brought up. To our surprise – the “perception” of not caring, was actually a case of “resignation”. Basically the key employee had resigned herself to her bosses comments and therefore didn’t contribute further.  Once she was told how she was being “perceived” she was shocked! She didn’t feel this way at all, in fact just the opposite – she was working even harder do to better.

Do you think you may have the same issue? How do you recognize it? What can you do about it?

To know if you have the same issue, ask yourself  – do you have that one employee that does a good job but is frustrating you with attitude?

If you do – the first thing you need to do is get your thoughts in order.  I say this because usually your mind is going a hundred miles an hour and we need to slow it down. Here are some things to consider and write down.

• Put together some facts, situations, and your perceptions.
• Decide how you want to approach the subject (see How To Have That First Difficult Conversation)
• Determine ahead of time what your next steps are (what are you trying to achieve)
• Be flexible
• Put on your listening ears

There is no possible way to know exactly how the conversation is going to go, so it is very important you listen. Don’t be waiting to speak or counter a comment – just listen. Be flexible with how the conversation is going while keeping the end result in mind. In other words don’t steer it too much otherwise you will be perceived as manipulative.

Overall, the end result is to correct (eliminate) the attitude and be able to have an open, productive and authentic relationship. This may or may not happen in one conversation, but don’t give up.  If the employee does good work, give yourself about 30 days to work through this with regular meetings (either daily or weekly). Once they see you have a real interest in them doing better and you want a better attitude – they will come around.